He had tried to stop smoking marijuana maybe 70 or 80 times before.
It occurred to him that he would disappear into a hole in a girder
inside him that supported something else inside him.
He was unsure what the thing inside him was
to eliminate all future temptation.
When he smoked marijuana he tended to masturbate a great deal,
He’d cure himself by excess.
the memory of his lack of basic decency.
(from DFW Infinite Jest)